I could easily have titled this blog “Germany vs. America” or “Europe vs. America” because the celebration of Valentine’s Day in these countries and regions looks nothing like the same holiday in the US. Arbitrarily, as Valentine’s Day comes from France (the country of love and my birth country), I decided to focus on the differences between France and the US.
France vs. America – Valentine’s Day Difference #1: For lovers only?
In France, Valentine’s Day celebrates the love between couples—young or old, married or not, straight or queer, beautiful or ugly, etc. Children don’t prepare Valentine’s Day crafts for their parents or friends. Likewise, parents don’t give cards or gifts to their kids.
What a difference in the US! Pauline, my youngest daughter, wrote 23 Valentine’s cards over the weekend for her first-grade classmates. Amélie, my stepdaughter, asked me for money in order to buy special Valentine’s Day cards. It’s part of a fundraiser for her middle school, but the point is that her cards are also for friends.
After growing up in France, I certainly would have gotten the wrong idea if I’d received such a card from an American friend!
While I was writing this post, I got an email from my 8-year-old son saying that he loves me! Yann is at school right now, but I guess he used his Chromebook to write me a message. This made my heart melt, believe me!
This morning, Pauline came into my bed with a heart-shaped drawing and wished me Happy Valentine’s Day. She had one for every member of the family, and she even asked me what our cat, Agathe, is getting as a present!
France vs. America – Valentine’s Day Difference #2: Marketing
French people don’t make a big deal about “la Saint Valentin.” I recently talked about this with Diane, an American blogger who’s originally from New York; she fell for a French guy, married him, and moved to a small French town 6 years ago. We chatted about Valentine’s Day, and here’s what she said:
“My husband and I try to do little acts of appreciation throughout the year, so I don’t feel like we personally need to go above and beyond on February 14.“
Year after year, I have come to realize that Valentine’s Day means a lot for many Americans. For me and my French or German compatriots, it seems like just another business opportunity. Stores are filled with candy boxes. Brands like Hershey or Ferrero offer heart-shaped chocolates. Every shade of red and pink has invaded home-decor stores, and even clothing retailers aren’t immune to the holiday.
Of course, on Valentine’s Day, love means big business. According to the National Retail Federation, Valentine’s Day will contribute $19.6 billion to the economy in 2018. But, while 55% of the American population celebrates today, only one in three French people will (2016 BVA survey)
Tonight, French couples may go to a nice restaurant or share a candlelit dinner at home. French teens or tweens in love will exchange presents—hold on, I’m not talking about candy or cute teddy bears. Non, non, non. I mean jewelry… or sexy underwear!
And, when it comes to pets, Pauline is not alone in her concern that our cat should also get a present. The National Retail Federation estimates that millennials (25 to 34 years old) will spend around $13 today for an appropriate present for their pet. That’s three times more than the next generation (35 to 44 years old) and 10 times more than those ages 65 and older!
France vs. America – Valentine’s Day Difference #3: Lingerie?
Some of my American readers may frown at the idea of buying lingerie for their loved one. I asked Diane from Oui In France what she thinks of buying or receiving sexy underwear for Valentine’s Day:
“Well, gifts are always appreciated, so I wouldn’t be opposed to underwear as a Valentine’s Day gift–but from my husband only. If my brother gave me underwear, that would be weird! My advice for any men out there: if you’re in doubt, size DOWN!“
In general, many French people feel that love should be celebrated year-round. They don’t need a specific day of the year to say, “Je t’aime.” My Dad was not really romantic, but once in a while he would bring my Mom flowers, making her glow every time. I can’t remember my parents ever celebrating Valentine’s Day in a special way.
Some final thoughts about Valentine’s Day
Even after spending years in the US and seeing all the themed stuff stacked in the supermarkets over the last few weeks, I’d forgotten Valentine’s Day. So, this week I wrote about my son’s accident on the playground and the unhealthy American health care system. Stay tuned next week to learn more!
Indeed, Valentine’s Day is not a big deal for my husband and me. I don’t expect flowers, and we won’t go out to eat since he is on a business trip. However, on this Valentine’s Day, let me say that I love hearing from you. Thank you for visiting!
Also, many thanks to Diane for sharing her thoughts about Valentine’s Day in France. Please check out her blog Oui In France or enjoy her shop full of original designs. (As you can see in the picture below, I already have several hanging in my kitchen!)
Bonjour Catherine !
Super article qui redevient d’actualité à quelques jours de la Saint-Valentin <3
Some say French is the language of love, they also say that, in love, to be French is already half the way 🙂 I would add that knowing French love words and sayings can be very helpful too 😉
https://vidalingua.com/blog/french-love-words-sayings.html
Once again, your experience of the world and mine are completely different. I wouldn’t want to be me if I didn’t buy my German wife flowers candy and a card for Valentine’s.
And of course I wouldn’t buy her lingerie. Generally, that’s something she does or we do together but if I do it I’m going to get it wrong. I’ll buy the wrong size or it will look cute but then not good on or it isn’t comfortable. We actually have similar tastes but lingerie is something that is so personal that the wearer should have input.
Interesting article, thanks Catherine. Sometimes I wish we would do more in Europe on Valentines Day. I especially miss the kids Valentines when they prepare small cards and surprises for their friends. I really liked that part in the US.
To be honest, I still find it weird. At school, they can choose to do it, or not. However, if a child wants to write a card, then he has to write one for each students in his class. I understand the idea, but I miss the real, honest feelings.
I recall other countries celebrating friendship on Valentine’s Day. The Netherlands, it seems, also send cards to friends. Well, put it this way I got a card from a Dutch friend once and we were not in love.
As for France tonight, you may have missed something important to some Frenchmen and/or women. You write : “Tonight, French couples may go to a nice restaurant or share a candlelit dinner at home”.
Well some of them will be in front of the TV as there is a match tonight between PSG and Real Madrid, so I fear that some French might have to put romanticism on the back burner for the evening, and hope that their spouse’s team wins, thus hoping for a lovely evening tomorrow night (but if they lose, well …).
Being half Brit, I’ll put in a good word for UK and Valentine’s.
As I wrote in another discussion (Let’s learn French group) when it comes to flowers for Valentine, France might not be as romantic as one might think.
I once worked for Interflora and being curious I compared France’s and UK’s Valentine bouquets. I know, it’s not all a question of money, but just for comparison purposes:
the most expensive bouquet at Interflora France is 278€ ;
https://www.interflora.fr/fleurs-saint-valentin/bouquet-prestige-roses-rouges/PRIX-UNIQUE/FR
whereas the most expensive at Interflora UK is £999 ! (1120€ – $1384)
https://www.interflora.co.uk/product/wow-200-red-rose-arrangement/?;category_id=1000333
True, these bouquets might not sell extremely often, but the whole fact that they can be purchased would suggest that they do sell. UK might just be more romantic than France, flower wise anyway.
Kate, you kind of nailed it! The thing with soccer is funny, and I wonder if restaurants will miss some €€€ tonight. On the other hand, florists may sell more than normal, or more expensive floral compositions?? Thank you so much for your comment, enjoy a lovely evening!